This winter, something dramatic happened to somebody close to me. Not only dramatic, but a matter of death, and not only close, but my own father. Here is his story:
I died on a Tuesday.
On the last day of November 2010 my heart stopped beating.
Repeatidly. I was given 15 defillibrations before the heart begun to beat by itself again.
It is horrifying to die. I actually was aware of myself falling dead. In my head I can still hear my own voice screaming: "I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!"
Over and over again. I scream and scream and scream. Being so close to death is terrifying. It is so frightening it is literary beyond description, My vocabulary is not, not even in Swedish, enough to find the right words.
But, and this is important, fear is not all bad. Of course it is not pleasant, but it gives me all the motivation I need for a new lifestyle. This means I have quit smoking, I am eating healthier stuff (vegetables, fish and fruit is perfect - cream, butter, sugar is no no) and I have increased my workout to a totally new level, between 1,5 and 2,5 hours per day.
At the moment I have all the time I need for workout and recovery since I am still on leave from work. That will change from March when I start working again, at least part time.
I am one of all the Swedes who wine about Swedish tax levels. I pay about 40 percent of my salary in tax, which is close to the top level in the world.
But in my current situation it would be unfair to complain. When I was in hospital I payed about 12 USD per day for all the medical care and attention I needed. The actual cost to society for this specialized cardiac care is about 6000 USD per day.
I also receive payment from the state during the time i can not work. It is rather complicated to calculate the figures but bottom line is that I get about half of the normal income these first three months. On top of that our family get some money from insurances. So paying the regular bills and afford the normal life is pretty easy. But we have cut costs on luxury like restaurants and other spontaneous spending.
All in all my life will never be the same again, but that is not all bad. I will live a lot healthier and will appreciate life a lot more since I can not take staying alive for granted.
I am now given a second chance in life and since I am thereby living my second life I got to be wise as a very old man and entitled to give advice:
Enjoy life - it is a beautiful thing. Do not smoke - it does not let you live this beautiful thing.
09 February 2011
20 January 2011
I would walk 500 miles (or not)
I would lie if I told you that the best moment of todays hike from hell was something else jumping into the water afterwards (that by the way must have been at least 20 degrees celsius).
Although I did not really enjoy walking for what felt like an eternity with blisters on my feet, being so hot and exhausted that I was going to collapse any second, it was a really healthy experience.
What I did today showed me that in a way I can do anything if I tell myself to do it.
The last 500 metres of the walk, I did not have any power left at all, but I knew that if I sat down, I wouldn’t be able to make it.
Then I saw the miracle.
Water.
Sea.
I felt a slight breeze brush against my face, that was drenched in sunscreen and sweat, and I must say that it was the most beautiful breeze of my life.
With nothing but the knowledge of the sea being so close driving me further, I walked with new power. It was not a positive power, it was more like how a star will go brighter and bigger when it soon is time for it to die.
When I was on top of the sand dune, I took of my shoes and my socks. I did not care that I bursted and got sand in all the blisters.
On the way down I threw off my clothes, because, luckily, I was wearing my bikini underneath.
I just used the last breath I had to fall on my stomach into the water.
I could breathe now.
After relaxing in the water for a minute or so, I could actually see.
Of course, everything was just running around like Ussain Bolt setting the world record, but I now had a feeling of what was up and what was down.
I then saw that I almost threw my clothes on an old couple, solving crosswords in the sun.
The rest of my stay at the beach was probably the happiest beach visit I’ve had in my life.
This was also the first time I ever went into the Australian waters by my own will.
Although I did not really enjoy walking for what felt like an eternity with blisters on my feet, being so hot and exhausted that I was going to collapse any second, it was a really healthy experience.
What I did today showed me that in a way I can do anything if I tell myself to do it.
The last 500 metres of the walk, I did not have any power left at all, but I knew that if I sat down, I wouldn’t be able to make it.
Then I saw the miracle.
Water.
Sea.
I felt a slight breeze brush against my face, that was drenched in sunscreen and sweat, and I must say that it was the most beautiful breeze of my life.
With nothing but the knowledge of the sea being so close driving me further, I walked with new power. It was not a positive power, it was more like how a star will go brighter and bigger when it soon is time for it to die.
When I was on top of the sand dune, I took of my shoes and my socks. I did not care that I bursted and got sand in all the blisters.
On the way down I threw off my clothes, because, luckily, I was wearing my bikini underneath.
I just used the last breath I had to fall on my stomach into the water.
I could breathe now.
After relaxing in the water for a minute or so, I could actually see.
Of course, everything was just running around like Ussain Bolt setting the world record, but I now had a feeling of what was up and what was down.
I then saw that I almost threw my clothes on an old couple, solving crosswords in the sun.
The rest of my stay at the beach was probably the happiest beach visit I’ve had in my life.
This was also the first time I ever went into the Australian waters by my own will.
"Or I'll cave in"
I was sitting in the front of the bus, by myself since our seats were stolen. At least so I thought. Later I realized something really interesting. Why did it disturb me that somebody sat in a certain seat in the bus? It is not like we are assigned seats.
I think that it is an interesting phenomenon, and an amazing example of group psychology.
Let me explain what I mean. We choose our seats in the bus, and we are happy with them, and even if we are not happy with them, we will still accept where we are “supposed” to sit.
When somebody then comes along and then completely (from our point of view) comes and disturbs the order, we react strongly, since the person is not following the “rules”.
This made me feel ashamed that I wasn’t the one to disturb the peace and pattern that everybody was following, but then came to think of something. Do we really need to rebel all the time? And question everything? I mean, there is so many things in the world that are wrong, that sometimes I get tired of questioning. Especially since it is not really socially appreciated.
I mean, is it worth it?
“sqeeeeeeeeeek!” I was brutally grabbed out of my train of thoughts and deep philosophies when our ever so jolly global studies teacher (no names mentioned) “accidentally” held the microphone too close to the speaker so that it
We got out of the bus to head for todays adventures which was
*drumroll*
caves!
The caves were really beautiful and the guide had many interesting things to tell us. When they told us it was time to leave, it felt way to early, I felt like there was so much more to know.
One really interesting thing about the caves was when the guide turned the lights off.
It was completely black, you could not see anything at all. I imagine that is what it would be like to become blind after an accident.
The interesting part was how everybody reacted to this.
People couldn’t stay still, everybody had to touch each other, and people couldn’t be quiet.
I believe that the reason for this is the fact that humans are such control freaks. We need to know what is going on around us to be able to feel safe, and when we then loose one of our senses, we have to use what we have left.
Opening the door to the caves to get out was like being smashed in the head.
It was so bright, it was so warm, it was so humid, it was so loud, it was so..
much.
When you let your senses rest for a while, and then wake them up is a really strong experience.
I recommend for everybody to do that every once in while, just to get an understanding of how much we actually use our senses every day.
I think that it is an interesting phenomenon, and an amazing example of group psychology.
Let me explain what I mean. We choose our seats in the bus, and we are happy with them, and even if we are not happy with them, we will still accept where we are “supposed” to sit.
When somebody then comes along and then completely (from our point of view) comes and disturbs the order, we react strongly, since the person is not following the “rules”.
This made me feel ashamed that I wasn’t the one to disturb the peace and pattern that everybody was following, but then came to think of something. Do we really need to rebel all the time? And question everything? I mean, there is so many things in the world that are wrong, that sometimes I get tired of questioning. Especially since it is not really socially appreciated.
I mean, is it worth it?
“sqeeeeeeeeeek!” I was brutally grabbed out of my train of thoughts and deep philosophies when our ever so jolly global studies teacher (no names mentioned) “accidentally” held the microphone too close to the speaker so that it
We got out of the bus to head for todays adventures which was
*drumroll*
caves!
The caves were really beautiful and the guide had many interesting things to tell us. When they told us it was time to leave, it felt way to early, I felt like there was so much more to know.
One really interesting thing about the caves was when the guide turned the lights off.
It was completely black, you could not see anything at all. I imagine that is what it would be like to become blind after an accident.
The interesting part was how everybody reacted to this.
People couldn’t stay still, everybody had to touch each other, and people couldn’t be quiet.
I believe that the reason for this is the fact that humans are such control freaks. We need to know what is going on around us to be able to feel safe, and when we then loose one of our senses, we have to use what we have left.
Opening the door to the caves to get out was like being smashed in the head.
It was so bright, it was so warm, it was so humid, it was so loud, it was so..
much.
When you let your senses rest for a while, and then wake them up is a really strong experience.
I recommend for everybody to do that every once in while, just to get an understanding of how much we actually use our senses every day.
jag har inga ord för det för att vi andas, tänker, känner samma sak
Just nu sitter jag i rummet på ett jättemysigt motel med havsutsikt. Med en tekokare i rummet och såna där små förpackningar med H-mjölk i kylen har jag en lång stund för mig själv eftersom mina rumskompisar har gått på en promenad.
Det finns inget bättre sätt att äta frukost än hotellfrukost med några av sina bästa kompisar.
Det finns också få lektioner som är lika intressanta som att ha en expert på echidnor
berätta om sitt livs arbete med dem i deras naturliga habitat .
Att se en koala på vägen är häller inte så tråkigt.
Dock så är nog det bästa att bo utan vuxen i sitt rum och hoppa i sängen och bara let yourself go, have a total rampage med sin rumskompis till My Chemical Romances “Teenagers”.
Dock kan jag inte undgå från att tänka på alla er, mina svenska kompisar, hur gärna jag skulle vilja att ni upplevde och kunde dela all den här glädjen med er.
Ni vet inte hur mycket jag saknar er.
Idag satt jag nämligen på verandan och tittade ut över himlen när den ändrade färg.
Till Mandi - Tänk inte på framtiden, njut av nuet.
Till Nono - Fortsätt vara galen! Utan din flummighet skulle världen vara mycket gråare.
Till Ebbs - Bry dig inte om vad andra tycker om dig!
Till *no name mentioned* Fuck you (no grudges held).
Till alla andra fantastiska, underbara och vackra människor (hihi Jäni jag tog dina ord)
Jag älskar er, jag saknar er så att mitt hjärta brister (Saga, Isak, Nora, Siri - listan skulle ta hundra tusen år och jag skulle ändå glömma någon)
Men ni vet vilka ni är. Ni vet att alla ord ni sagt att jag inte ska föra vidare stannar i min famn. Ni vet att alla minnen finns kvar hos mig, alla gånger vi tagit en fika, alla gånger vi har hängt i Vasaparken. Alla gånger vi har gått till Etiopiska kaféer vid st. Eriksplan
Alla gånger vi lyssnat på “It never rains on alex” tillsammans.
Alla gånger vi krossat tomater i väskan på Mando Diaos konsert.
Alla gånger vi spottat på bron till slottet (inga namn nämnda).
Alla gånger vi planerat att begå dramatiska självmord tillsammans med en lapp med våra kärastes namn i fickan, så att de skulle förstå hur mycket vi älskade dem.
Alla gånger vi har bakat cupcakes, eller lagat macaroni ‘n’ cheese över skype och misslyckats totalt.
Alla gånger vi förväntansfullt stått i kön till birkadiscot.
Alla gånger vi skrattat utan anledning.
Alla gånger jag insett att jag upskattar dig för precis den du är.
14 January 2011
Don't forget!
Dont forget my parallell (I have no idea how to spell that at one am in the morning) blog!
http://streetlightsandnightskies.blogspot.com/
http://streetlightsandnightskies.blogspot.com/
08 January 2011
I am not a piece of dirt!
Let me just tell you this before you keep on reading; heights not only scare me, they scare the.. err.. let’s say feces since this is for a public blog.
This day started like any other day. Me and my classmates doing morning yoga to greet the sun, putting on sunscreen and chill on the floor in my room listening to Bob Marley.
But it was not any other day. This was going to be a day when my heart was going beat about twice the amount of beats it does in a normal day.
When the ferry arrived in Sydney I saw it.
There it stood in all it’s magnificence, all it’s glory.
All its enormousness.
And it was going to get worse. How big I thought it was when I stood on the ground was nothing compared to what I was going to see when I was up at the top.
I was actually going to climb the Sydney harbor bridge.
We got all the safetygear on and my breath was getting faster and faster, but the staff was really nice and seemed to have experience with acrophobia.
When we were all strapped in and clipped to the stairs it was time to go.
One step.
Another step.
Don’t look down.
Do NOT look down.
And of course, I looked down. I felt nauseous and I felt how my jaw started to ache.
The path we were walking was called a runway. I could see why. Models are nauseous with hunger on the runways, I was nauseous with fear. I laughed at my silly little comparison in my head. It wasn’t really a very joyful laughter as you might understand.
As we kept on walking we came higher and higher.
When we reached the asphalt and the cars, I felt a lot better. It was almost like standing on solid ground again!
Then I realized something amazing. The arch we were walking on was made out of two meter wide solid steel.
The relief that I felt was like when you drink a chai latté on a really cold day, it warmed me all the way down to the stomach.
It was just solid stairs from here. The group I was walking with was great, and so so was the tourguide. He was able to keep our spirits up even though we were exhausted from all the steps.
After what felt like at least twenty thousand steps later, we were at the top.
It was high.
Really high.
High like a bunch of hippies at Woodstock 69’.
But I was happy.
Happy like a bunch of hippies at Woodstock 69’.
I felt like nothing could stop me. I was on top of the world. The best feeling was when a helicopter flew by and was about as high up in the air as we were.
It was the perfect moment for some Queen.
I wonder if me and A’ntonia were the first ones to sing “We are the champions” on top of the sydney harbor bridge. I don’t think so though, because it was so perfect for the moment.
What we probably were the first ones to do is the oompaa loompaa dance on the way down.
Once we were down, I was very proud of myself. I never thought that I was going to make it, and to be really honest, I had my moments when all I wanted to do was to turn around and walk back down. But I didn’t. Because, as Jonathan Lionheart says:
“There are things in life that you just have to do, otherwise you are not a human, just a little piece of dirt”.
This day started like any other day. Me and my classmates doing morning yoga to greet the sun, putting on sunscreen and chill on the floor in my room listening to Bob Marley.
But it was not any other day. This was going to be a day when my heart was going beat about twice the amount of beats it does in a normal day.
When the ferry arrived in Sydney I saw it.
There it stood in all it’s magnificence, all it’s glory.
All its enormousness.
And it was going to get worse. How big I thought it was when I stood on the ground was nothing compared to what I was going to see when I was up at the top.
I was actually going to climb the Sydney harbor bridge.
We got all the safetygear on and my breath was getting faster and faster, but the staff was really nice and seemed to have experience with acrophobia.
When we were all strapped in and clipped to the stairs it was time to go.
One step.
Another step.
Don’t look down.
Do NOT look down.
And of course, I looked down. I felt nauseous and I felt how my jaw started to ache.
The path we were walking was called a runway. I could see why. Models are nauseous with hunger on the runways, I was nauseous with fear. I laughed at my silly little comparison in my head. It wasn’t really a very joyful laughter as you might understand.
As we kept on walking we came higher and higher.
When we reached the asphalt and the cars, I felt a lot better. It was almost like standing on solid ground again!
Then I realized something amazing. The arch we were walking on was made out of two meter wide solid steel.
The relief that I felt was like when you drink a chai latté on a really cold day, it warmed me all the way down to the stomach.
It was just solid stairs from here. The group I was walking with was great, and so so was the tourguide. He was able to keep our spirits up even though we were exhausted from all the steps.
After what felt like at least twenty thousand steps later, we were at the top.
It was high.
Really high.
High like a bunch of hippies at Woodstock 69’.
But I was happy.
Happy like a bunch of hippies at Woodstock 69’.
I felt like nothing could stop me. I was on top of the world. The best feeling was when a helicopter flew by and was about as high up in the air as we were.
It was the perfect moment for some Queen.
I wonder if me and A’ntonia were the first ones to sing “We are the champions” on top of the sydney harbor bridge. I don’t think so though, because it was so perfect for the moment.
What we probably were the first ones to do is the oompaa loompaa dance on the way down.
Once we were down, I was very proud of myself. I never thought that I was going to make it, and to be really honest, I had my moments when all I wanted to do was to turn around and walk back down. But I didn’t. Because, as Jonathan Lionheart says:
“There are things in life that you just have to do, otherwise you are not a human, just a little piece of dirt”.
01 January 2011
Im in Sydney *innaproprieate word for female dog*!
The star has arrivedz! After like 32 hours of travel I am finally here!
Mood of today: Happy
Weather: Way too sunny and way too hot (in other words 27 degrees and Sun)
Time to be egoistic; if you are not interested in what I do or my life - please don't keep reading.
My family and I are at the moment staying in an apartment in Manley, a suburb of Sydney. This suburb has like one shopping street that is like 50 meters or something. And that's it. Other than that there are two beaches, one that is very close to the house and one on the other end of the shopping street.
The other beach is really big and if you are person who likes beaches (in other words not me) you'd think it is amazing.
I can not say that it is not beautiful when the turquoise waves roll in, one by one to create a symphony that will flush away all of our troubles.
Only if it wasn't so hot.
When I came to the beach the first time (the whole suburb is basically beach, and people wear their bikinis in the streets), I thought "how can everybody be so skinny here"? Because earlier that day, I had been to the supermarket, and I tried to find food such as plain yoghurt, unsalted nuts and other GI friendly things.
It was really hard to find and when I finally had found everything and went to pay, it ended up costing a minor fortune.
Long story short, being healthy here is hard.
Anyway. At new years eve (yesterday) the city was crowded, everybody seemed to be outside. And then I realized; there are way more bigger people here than there are skinny people, but they stay inside.
And it is not hard to understand why.
Because who wants to show their body like that when media is constantly throwing at us that we should look good, otherwise we shouldn't show at all.
This is just terrible because you can't really become healthy if you stay inside.
This pisses me off!
Movies choose beautiful actors and actresses for the main roles. Commercials and ads are telling us that if we just buy their product, we can become just as happy and beautiful as the retouched and plastic people in the ad. Even a big part of the music industry is telling us that if you just have love, then everything will be okay.
DON'T LISTEN! No matter what you see, or hear, beauty is not going to make you happier, nor is the unnecessary crap in ads. The only thing that is going to make you happier is self esteem and the ability to be pleased with your life and like what you've got.
The only part of this post that you really should read is the red part, the rest is more for me, so it is kinda crappy - Editors note (who else?) -
Mood of today: Happy
Weather: Way too sunny and way too hot (in other words 27 degrees and Sun)
Time to be egoistic; if you are not interested in what I do or my life - please don't keep reading.
My family and I are at the moment staying in an apartment in Manley, a suburb of Sydney. This suburb has like one shopping street that is like 50 meters or something. And that's it. Other than that there are two beaches, one that is very close to the house and one on the other end of the shopping street.
The other beach is really big and if you are person who likes beaches (in other words not me) you'd think it is amazing.
I can not say that it is not beautiful when the turquoise waves roll in, one by one to create a symphony that will flush away all of our troubles.
Only if it wasn't so hot.
When I came to the beach the first time (the whole suburb is basically beach, and people wear their bikinis in the streets), I thought "how can everybody be so skinny here"? Because earlier that day, I had been to the supermarket, and I tried to find food such as plain yoghurt, unsalted nuts and other GI friendly things.
It was really hard to find and when I finally had found everything and went to pay, it ended up costing a minor fortune.
Long story short, being healthy here is hard.
Anyway. At new years eve (yesterday) the city was crowded, everybody seemed to be outside. And then I realized; there are way more bigger people here than there are skinny people, but they stay inside.
And it is not hard to understand why.
Because who wants to show their body like that when media is constantly throwing at us that we should look good, otherwise we shouldn't show at all.
This is just terrible because you can't really become healthy if you stay inside.
This pisses me off!
Movies choose beautiful actors and actresses for the main roles. Commercials and ads are telling us that if we just buy their product, we can become just as happy and beautiful as the retouched and plastic people in the ad. Even a big part of the music industry is telling us that if you just have love, then everything will be okay.
DON'T LISTEN! No matter what you see, or hear, beauty is not going to make you happier, nor is the unnecessary crap in ads. The only thing that is going to make you happier is self esteem and the ability to be pleased with your life and like what you've got.
The only part of this post that you really should read is the red part, the rest is more for me, so it is kinda crappy - Editors note (who else?) -
22 November 2010
Health
What exactly is health?
Biologists and personal trainers would maybe agree that it is having a healthy body, while as for psychologists and shrinks, I'm sure they would agree that it is much more than that.
I have been thinking a lot about this, and here is my story.
Now, it is time. Time to do something.
I have to do one of the hardest tasks I think I've faced so far, ever.
Trying to reach a healthy weight, and reaching a healthy body image at the same time.
In other words - becoming healthy.
My plan about loosing weight is not that important, what happens happens, but it is not going to be that interesting to read about. What is important when trying to loose weight is to reward yourself every now and then.
You don't want to live your life eating fiber flakes, every now and then you can eat the frosties, just not every day. I try to limit my selfrewardings to once a week.
But that is not too important.
What Is important, and what I want you to read and spread to your friends, family, anybody, is to keep a good body image. What you must realize though is that it will not happen quickly.
You have to be patient.
With the patience matter, I got a really good advice.
The advice that I got was: No numbers.
Whatever you do, no numbers. It is when you start counting the kilos and the calories that you will get a worse body image. You will think "why did I eat that?" or "why am I not loosing weight quickly enough?".
You will see the improvement anyways, you will feel it. When you eat healthy, you know it, and by knowing that, a chemical process in your brain will start producing rewarding chemicals and you will feel happier, the same for working out.
Love yourself! These are a few tricks to help you on the way.
*BMI = Body Mass Index. A way of measuring weight and length to get an idea of the ideal weight. What the BMI doesn't count in though is for an example of a person is very muscular, or as for me, has very wide shoulders, therefore, be careful, it is not trustworthy.
Biologists and personal trainers would maybe agree that it is having a healthy body, while as for psychologists and shrinks, I'm sure they would agree that it is much more than that.
I have been thinking a lot about this, and here is my story.
During the last year, my confidence has been at the bottom. Completely rock bottom, I wouldn't wear tanktops and I would dress in clothes that were too big, so that I could hide myself in them.
Eating and sleeping healthy was never a problem, my mother would help me with eating healthy dinners, in school, our lunches weren't too good and we had no cafeteria, so we were more or less forced to eat salad.
I was never skinny, my BMI* has, as long as I've been knowing what it is, been higher than average, but still not over the top for overweight.
As my confidence improved, I gained weight.
Simply because I stopped thinking about what I put in my mouth and lived my life to the fullest.
What I forgot though, was the fact that everybody is different, and just because my friends can eat pastries and sweets everyday without gaining weight and destroying their teeth, doesn't mean that I can.
Nature just isn't fair like that.
I was soon at the medical definition of overweight, and the clothes I once had bought to hide in were now actually fitting me, and some were even becoming tight.
So there I was, with a body covered in stretchmarks and the realization that "I am fat".
The honeymoon was over. Time to start changing lifestyle. Easy.
Or not. Living life "on the go" makes it really hard to find any time to work out, it also gives you a very limited choice when it comes to food.
Another matter to count in is the fact that I am only 15 years old, trying my best to take care of myself, it is not always the easiest. I don't eat candy, but it is hard to eat milk with healthy grain flakes for breakfast when there is white bread with jam to choose if I so preferred.
Now, it is time. Time to do something.
I have to do one of the hardest tasks I think I've faced so far, ever.
Trying to reach a healthy weight, and reaching a healthy body image at the same time.
In other words - becoming healthy.
My plan about loosing weight is not that important, what happens happens, but it is not going to be that interesting to read about. What is important when trying to loose weight is to reward yourself every now and then.
You don't want to live your life eating fiber flakes, every now and then you can eat the frosties, just not every day. I try to limit my selfrewardings to once a week.
But that is not too important.
What Is important, and what I want you to read and spread to your friends, family, anybody, is to keep a good body image. What you must realize though is that it will not happen quickly.
You have to be patient.
With the patience matter, I got a really good advice.
The advice that I got was: No numbers.
Whatever you do, no numbers. It is when you start counting the kilos and the calories that you will get a worse body image. You will think "why did I eat that?" or "why am I not loosing weight quickly enough?".
You will see the improvement anyways, you will feel it. When you eat healthy, you know it, and by knowing that, a chemical process in your brain will start producing rewarding chemicals and you will feel happier, the same for working out.
Love yourself! These are a few tricks to help you on the way.
- Try not to look in mirrors, at all. If you have a pocket mirror in your bag, take it out.
- When you do look in mirrors, think about what you like with yourself.
- Wearing make-up is not a crime, neither is straightening your hair or even wearing "body shapers" If something makes you feel pretty, wear it.
- Always believe that you are good enough, because you are.
*BMI = Body Mass Index. A way of measuring weight and length to get an idea of the ideal weight. What the BMI doesn't count in though is for an example of a person is very muscular, or as for me, has very wide shoulders, therefore, be careful, it is not trustworthy.
wow..
This is one of the best blogs I've ever read. I recommend you to go and read it, and maybe even follow, I find it hard to believe that this girl is attending high school, and already has the ability to write and think the way she apparently does.
http://waterpuddlesandcastles.tumblr.com/
http://waterpuddlesandcastles.tumblr.com/
16 November 2010
http://streetlightsandnightskies.blog.com
Even more blogs! I can't get enough of blogs! I have started yet another blog! It will alternate in both Swedish and English, and it will contain abstract and poemlike texts, that I write just for the sake of writing them.
There will be glances into my head, but you must remember that I write to let my feelings out, and that I have nothing on there that is written before 10 pm, so it might not always be the most positive posts.
But don't misunderstand me, I am truly happy right now. I love my life, and I love writing and that is the only reason for my blogs.
Since that one is done through a blog.com account, I can update via my phone, and will therefore update about twice a week, at least.
There will be glances into my head, but you must remember that I write to let my feelings out, and that I have nothing on there that is written before 10 pm, so it might not always be the most positive posts.
But don't misunderstand me, I am truly happy right now. I love my life, and I love writing and that is the only reason for my blogs.
Since that one is done through a blog.com account, I can update via my phone, and will therefore update about twice a week, at least.
who am I and what am I supposed to do?
"There are things in life that we have to do, otherwise we are not human, just a little peice of dirt"
I think that we should do our best to enjoy life.
If we enjoy life, we are able to help others to that too, which can lead to even more joy for ourselves.
If we enjoy life without fear of loosing the joy, we can be truly happy.
I am not saying that you should be happy all the time, because that would not work, nor be healthy.
If we were to always be happy, we wouldn’t know what it feels like not to be, and therefore we wouldn’t be able to appreciate it as much.
I don’t think that anybody, ever, will be able to truly know who one is, because, as we search for ourselves, we change. Once you think you know a thing about yourself, that thing changes, faster than you realise.
”Drenched in my pain again, becoming who we are.”
”As my memories rest, but never forgets what I lost.”
I think those are good quotes on this subject. I don’t think we can even get a hum on who we are without going through pain. Nor do I think that we are able to truly appreciate something until we loose it.
08 October 2010
Haters’ gotta hate (or not)
As the internet user you are, there is a high percentage that you have an account on Facebook. Maybe you have also noticed a big amount of groups with names similar to ”all of us who hate...” or ”we hate...” whatever it is that the people in the group ”hates”.
The word hate is very strong, but seem to have lost part of its meaning. I think that hate is a word to strong to use when you are talking about a for an example, a commercial, or maybe a person you haven’t even met.
Here is the dictionary’s description of what hate is.
hate |hāt|
verb [ trans. ]
feel intense or passionate dislike for (someone) : the boys hate each other | he was particularly hated by the extreme right.
• have a strong aversion to (something) : he hates flying | [with infinitive ] I'd hate to live there.
• [with infinitive ] used politely to express one's regret or embarrassment at doing something : I hate to bother you.
noun
intense or passionate dislike : feelings of hate and revenge.
• [as adj. ] denoting hostile actions motivated by intense dislike or prejudice : a hate campaign.
DERIVATIVES
hatable |ˈhātəbəl| (also hateable) adjective
There has also been a lot of ”chainstatuses” as for an example ”copy and paste this to your status if you would scream ‘JUMP’ if you saw Justin Beiber on a rooftop”
What I dont understand is how people can say such things about a person they haven’t even met.
Imagine seing a complete stranger on a rooftop, would you really encourage them to take their own life?
I can understand that people dislike the music, but does that really mean that you hate the actual person and actually want them to die? Or do you? If you do, please comment, I would love to hear somebody disagreeing with me.
The word hate is very strong, but seem to have lost part of its meaning. I think that hate is a word to strong to use when you are talking about a for an example, a commercial, or maybe a person you haven’t even met.
Here is the dictionary’s description of what hate is.
hate |hāt|
verb [ trans. ]
feel intense or passionate dislike for (someone) : the boys hate each other | he was particularly hated by the extreme right.
• have a strong aversion to (something) : he hates flying | [with infinitive ] I'd hate to live there.
• [with infinitive ] used politely to express one's regret or embarrassment at doing something : I hate to bother you.
noun
intense or passionate dislike : feelings of hate and revenge.
• [as adj. ] denoting hostile actions motivated by intense dislike or prejudice : a hate campaign.
DERIVATIVES
hatable |ˈhātəbəl| (also hateable) adjective
There has also been a lot of ”chainstatuses” as for an example ”copy and paste this to your status if you would scream ‘JUMP’ if you saw Justin Beiber on a rooftop”
What I dont understand is how people can say such things about a person they haven’t even met.
Imagine seing a complete stranger on a rooftop, would you really encourage them to take their own life?
I can understand that people dislike the music, but does that really mean that you hate the actual person and actually want them to die? Or do you? If you do, please comment, I would love to hear somebody disagreeing with me.
20 July 2010
some random art (:
Teeni tiny thumbnail (get it? thumbnail? Haha! Alice, you're laughing at your own jokes again. I am? Yes! Okay Voice in my head, I'll stop)
hehe
Hey world! So I was thinking, my old blog is really hard to update because I have really high expectations on what it is about, so my new idea was to update with other stuff, like:
1. random quotes
2. links to other stuff on this epic spider web that you youths windsurf on
3. Art
4. FOODZ!
5. CUPCAKES!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!onethousandonehundredandone!!!!1!!!one!!eleven!!!!!!!!!!!
So what do you think?
1. random quotes
2. links to other stuff on this epic spider web that you youths windsurf on
3. Art
4. FOODZ!
5. CUPCAKES!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!onethousandonehundredandone!!!!1!!!one!!eleven!!!!!!!!!!!
So what do you think?
20 June 2010
Sexuality?
For some reason I was at a swedish site where people send in textmessages that they by mistake sent to the wrong person.
There was one text that upset me really much. There was a guy that had sent a message like "I had a wonderful evening last night Michel" by mistake to his mother.
His parents got really mad and told him that he wasn't accepted in the family anymore. There were many texts like this and many with the same response from the parents.
That is completely sick. And usual.
Many parent's would never accept having a homosexual or bisexual child. I think that is completely horrible. I mean, if you love your child, shouldn't you love the whole child? As you like your children's birthmarks that makes them unique, you should like the sexuality that makes your child unique.
Think about this. How would you react if your child, brother, sister, cousing, close friend came out of the closet? Would you be mad? Would you be surprised? Would you be disgusted? Or maybe disapointed?
I don't think that there is anything wrong with beeing surprised, but by being disgusted, mad or disapointed you are just helping a homophobic society to stay homophobic.
Do we want to move forward or backward in time?
(Personally I'd like to move forward)
There was one text that upset me really much. There was a guy that had sent a message like "I had a wonderful evening last night Michel" by mistake to his mother.
His parents got really mad and told him that he wasn't accepted in the family anymore. There were many texts like this and many with the same response from the parents.
That is completely sick. And usual.
Many parent's would never accept having a homosexual or bisexual child. I think that is completely horrible. I mean, if you love your child, shouldn't you love the whole child? As you like your children's birthmarks that makes them unique, you should like the sexuality that makes your child unique.
Think about this. How would you react if your child, brother, sister, cousing, close friend came out of the closet? Would you be mad? Would you be surprised? Would you be disgusted? Or maybe disapointed?
I don't think that there is anything wrong with beeing surprised, but by being disgusted, mad or disapointed you are just helping a homophobic society to stay homophobic.
Do we want to move forward or backward in time?
(Personally I'd like to move forward)
How to make someones life a little less miserable in 4 steps
In india, the workers work under contitions that are so horrible that we can't even imagine what it would feel like. In many factorys, the workers arent allowed to drink water, because then they might have to take a break and go to the bathroom. The cottonfarms are called "the fields of death".
Why?
The workers bend down and pick up the cotton by hand, wich makes their backs hurt, they get parasites that live in the mud that the cotton grows in eats their way through the workers skin, the chemicals that are used to kill bugs are mixed with the water makes a deadly cocktail that sinks into the workers skin when they stand with water and mud up to their knees picking cotton.
But that's nothing compared to the actual reason why they're actualle called "the fields of death".
The people that work in the cottonfields are extremely poor. In India there is barely a middle class, only working class and upper class. This is tricking the workers into taking expensive loans that they cant afford with their pay (I wouldn't call it pay though). This is a horrible doom that very often, or almost always, makes the workers commit suicide.
The workers aren't adults, they are often children that are trying to help supporting their families.
But don't get depressed, there are ways to help!
Fairtrade is a foundation that helps workers get better conditions. The certification fairtrade means that the product is made with a fair pay, that there weren't any children making the product, that the workers had realistic conditions and that they weren't harmed making the product.
There are many fairtrade products, some of them are easier to get and some of them are harder to get. Some that are easy get are fairtrade coke, fairtrade soccerballs and fairtrade clothes, especially jeans.
So how do you make someones life less miserable?
You will need:
- some extra money
- a store where you can buy fairtrade
- a will to help people in need
Step 1. Go to a store.
Step 2. Choose the fairtrade things instead of the ordinary, less expensive things.
Step 3. Pay.
Step 4. Spread the word about fairtrade!
Why?
The workers bend down and pick up the cotton by hand, wich makes their backs hurt, they get parasites that live in the mud that the cotton grows in eats their way through the workers skin, the chemicals that are used to kill bugs are mixed with the water makes a deadly cocktail that sinks into the workers skin when they stand with water and mud up to their knees picking cotton.
But that's nothing compared to the actual reason why they're actualle called "the fields of death".
The people that work in the cottonfields are extremely poor. In India there is barely a middle class, only working class and upper class. This is tricking the workers into taking expensive loans that they cant afford with their pay (I wouldn't call it pay though). This is a horrible doom that very often, or almost always, makes the workers commit suicide.
The workers aren't adults, they are often children that are trying to help supporting their families.
But don't get depressed, there are ways to help!
Fairtrade is a foundation that helps workers get better conditions. The certification fairtrade means that the product is made with a fair pay, that there weren't any children making the product, that the workers had realistic conditions and that they weren't harmed making the product.
There are many fairtrade products, some of them are easier to get and some of them are harder to get. Some that are easy get are fairtrade coke, fairtrade soccerballs and fairtrade clothes, especially jeans.
So how do you make someones life less miserable?
You will need:
- some extra money
- a store where you can buy fairtrade
- a will to help people in need
Step 1. Go to a store.
Step 2. Choose the fairtrade things instead of the ordinary, less expensive things.
Step 3. Pay.
Step 4. Spread the word about fairtrade!
crack a joke and live!
Have you ever thought about how you, your whole life is reaching for something more? har du tänkt på att hela sitt liv strävar man efter något nytt?
As soon as you buy something you want the upgrade, as soon as you saw the movie you're waiting for the followup, as soon as you reach a goal you put up a new. Så fort man nått sitt mål skapar man ett annat!
You go to preschool to prepare for elementaryschool, in elementaryschool you hear "this is how it's done in high school", you go to high school to prepare for "the real world. "Man går i sexårsverksamhet för att förbereda sig inför skolan, i grundskolan får man höra ”så här gör man på gymnasiet” sen går man gymnasiet för att förbereda sig inför ”det verkliga livet”.
You work to make money and you look forward to the weekend. What society are we living in when people only live two days out of seven? I'm just wondering. We who go school are looking forward to the weekends for two things. Every weekend it's the same choice. Party or sleep? Do you really have to choose between having fun or resting? It's hard to choose what's best for you, rest so school will be easier or having fun. But what is the best? For the physical health, for your grades and all that stuff sleeping is the best, definitely. Bot for your mental health? Here are the options:
1. be a "good girl" with straight A's and get in to harvard or having fun
2. getting bad grades and regret it the rest of your life.
Is there really something in between? It's the same with food. To choose that delicios ice cream or an okay apple? I'd definitely choose the ice cream. My belly might not be the flatest but at least the ice cream was good.
There are so much people that doesn't think that way. I feel sorry for the - mostly women that are trying to live up to all of these crazy ideals. Of course, your grades and fysical health are important, but don't stress yourself to death and start growing grey hair before you even are 20 years old.
be yourself! if you're not you, who else is going to be?
In between youths there are many unnecessary groups. To have a need of group belonging that you start destroying your body, by cutting yourself or smoking is just sad. That also makes it possible to se a person and know how confident he/she is. It's tragic to see how many people there are that are tryong to be something they're really not. It's also tragic how many people there are that has to push others down just to confirm themselves.
Do something about this - be yourself!
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